gin and juice...

last night i went out with my new friend jade, it was a pretty normal night until we got fucking ruined and acted like spastics, jade was even so kind as to show loads of people her minge. that's why i like her, she's a massive spastic. i stumbled into a takeaway and told a bunch of people 'you look like you're in fucking klaxons' and then some dude went 'i am in klaxons' to which i replied 'no you're not' then he said 'yes i am' and i said 'oh shit yeah you are', he was very nice. i then stumbled to the train station and slept there, which wasn't all that bad.

when i was younger students used to get fucked up all the time, these days...not so much. whatever happened to my rock and roll? where did all the fun go?

sex, drugs and spoken word...

p.s. i just found out that it wasn't the dude from klaxons, i was just so fucking drunk that i thought he was. sux2bthegasman.

chickens

i used to love eggs until my friend described them as chicken periods, now i can't eat eggs.

all dogs go to heaven...

forgive me for being a trifle soft but bolt, the film, is really good...it also, without fail, makes me weep every time i watch it. luckily i have only watched it on my own so far (three times in two weeks) and not with a totally awesome babe. i think it's the undying love that bolt shows his owner, blind devotion and moral lunacy. he reminds me of my old dog, benji. benji was a hero, no matter how many times you left the house in a day, regardless of duration or time, he would absolutely shit his pants when you returned (he didn't wear pants, but if he did, they would have a jackson pollock on the back) i loved benji and benji loved me, we both still do in fact, i can sense his little doggie brain still wagging his tail at the thought of me coming home.

anyway, in ste and adam's year at school there was this 'special' kid that couldn't write very well and when he wrote his personal statement in his final year at high school he summed up the last six years with 'i lik futdol...' let me translate, what he meant to say was 'i like football...' i remembered that today and it made me giggle, here's a picture for you my illiterate friend, for bringing an upside to this otherwise dreary morning in preston...

p.s. i know i don't use capital letters...because i don't want to.